VOX - Cheeky love not lust says Opik with commentary

Originally posted to monkeybox.vox.com

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Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik has insisted his love for Cheeky Girls singer Gabriela Irimia is based on a “meeting of minds” rather than “lust”.

Meeting of minds?  The only mind either of these vapid bimbos has are their boobies and that’s barely enough to scrape together a decent sentence let alone a CD single.

Talking to Hello magazine, Mr Opik admitted they were “the oddest couple in Britain”, but said the relationship was “not some sort of joke”.  _Selling your soul to Hello doesn’t exactly send the “we’re in love and it isn’t a joke” theme._The

Lib Dem Northern Ireland and Wales spokesman met Ms Irimia after he split from weather presenter Sian Lloyd.

Mr Opik told Hello he was “scared” of the Cheeky Girls’ mother Margit.

He said there had been “absolutely no overlap” with his previous relationship with Ms Lloyd, to whom he was engaged for two years.  I bet he was banging the cheeky bitch in the next room while Sian slept.

‘More trendy’

Mr Opik, known for his harmonica-playing and warnings of asteroids colliding with earth, said: “It wasn’t on my to-do list to date a Cheeky Girl…

“Our relationship is not based on lust; it’s primarily a relationship of intellect, a meeting of minds, and I find that really interesting and attractive.”  And nowt to do with the lack of intelligence and the mamories, much like Hello magazine, I’m so not buying it.

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Hello remarks that a “more trendy Lembit” - who poses in a variety of waistcoats, a leather jacket and a diamond-pattern jumper for a photo shoot in rural north Wales - has emerged. Obviously he’s well over-paid.

However, it adds: “They might appear ill-matched - her youthful good looks and trademark ponytail extension contrasting with his cropped grey hair and lop-sided smile.”  But at least they both look like spastics and one sings like one too.

Miss Irimia, 24, is said to be dedicating her next single - Text Me I Love You - to the Montgomeryshire MP. It just rolls off your tongue doesn’t it, I bet she can’t even spell Montgomeryshire.

She said: “I found him really interesting, smart, delicate and funny - he tells jokes all the time. He’s a gentleman and is very protective.”

‘Down to Margit’

Mr Opik, 41, said he hoped the media would “overcome their concerns about the age gap”.

On first meeting his girlfriend’s “formidable” mother Margit at the family home in Rye, East Sussex, he added: “I was scared, yes, and frankly I still am. Lawl, your mother in law is a fucking troll.

“This woman is very strong-minded and very protective of her daughters - though in a wholly good way.” And in a slightly exploititive way it seems “Touch My Bum” being a cheeky girls release, why didn’t they call it “I SELL DAUGHTER FOR 3 GOATS”?

Ms Lloyd has accused her former fiancé of not being capable of maintaining an adult relationship.

Mr Opik told Hello: “I hope I don’t lose my sense of child-like wonder. Amusingly, this is where most Michael Jackson interviews start off on, foreshadowing?

“I get excited by flying an aeroplane, seeing a great film, having a long game of chess, playing the harmonica, meeting new people…” This is a list of fetishes rather than normal people activity.  That’s why his face is bent, too much wanking over a good game of chess, the harmonica and in aeroplanes.

The MP has donated his fee from Hello to charity. Of the North Wales MP for Montgomeryshire?

‘Passionate and committed’

In a separate article in the same issue of Hello, Ms Lloyd said of Mr Opik’s new relationship: “It’s a panto… and I think because the slapstick has continued, it’s peeled away some layers of hurt for me, and makes the whole thing easier to deal with.”

Asked if he would play harmonica on future Cheeky Girls recordings, he said: “I care enough about Gabi not to ruin their sales!  As if they needed your help.

“If the Cheeky Girls ever bring out a country & western album, I may play a small role in it… but don’t hold your breath.

“I’m as passionate and committed as ever about politics.”

In the Commons last week, MPs shouted “Who’s a cheeky boy?” as Mr Opik, who became an MP in 1997, rose to speak.

He responded: “I think honourable members should leave any cheeky business completely to me.”

The Cheeky Girls arrived in the UK from Romania in 2002 and shot to fame with their unsuccessful auditions in the reality TV show Popstars: The Rivals.

Their first single The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) reached number two in the charts.

ORIGNAL STORY ON BBC NEWS ONLINE, filed under Politics.